Anniversary Party II: Don't you know we NEVER leave?
Depth: Shalei! *huggles* Where ya been?
Shalei: Where do you THINK I've been?!
Everyone: 
Shalei: SCHOOL!
lilli: 
You still go there? *shakes head and smiles* So young and innocent...
Spidey: Ha... I remember school... It was HORRIBLE, I tell you! HORRIBLE! ... Oh, wait, never mind, that was gas.
Everyone: 
Depth: *chuckles and puts arm around Shalei's shoulders* No, but seriously, Shalei... What's wrong??? You know, we're here if you need any help at all, Shalei... I mean, why have you been going to school?
Shalei: B-because it's r-required?...
Fey: WHAT?! SINCE WHEN?!
Shalei: S-since forever?...
XX: HA! If it's required, then why are all of us still here?!
Police Sirens: *are heard*
Tess: XX, YOU LOUDMOUTH! YOU GAVE US AWAY!!!!!
Policeman: STEP OUT OF THE FICTIONAL MANSION AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP!
XX: 
YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US ALIVE, BWAHAHAHA!!!!
Sidiqa: Hey, that's my Maniacal Laught--
Depth: *whisper* Actually, he said bwahaha, and your Maniacal Laughter is mwahaha, so technically he's okay.
Sidiqa: Dang.
Policeman: I SAID... STEP OUT OF THE FICTIONAL MANSION AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP! IF YOU DON'T COMPLY, THEN I WILL HAVE TO SHOOT!
Draco: *laughing hysterically from relief* THEY'RE FINALLY GOING TO BE GONE... HAHAHAHA... I CAN'T BELIEVE IT... FINALLY...
Harry: *weakly* C-caps lo-lo-lo... *faints*
Policeman: ALL RIGHT...
Bunny: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M COMING!!!!!! *tries to run out of the house*
XX: BUNNY, NO, STOP!!!!! *grabs Bunny and stops her*
Bunny: B-but he's gonna shoot...
Nikita: No, he's bluffing! Believe me, I can totally read the minds of truant offi--
Gun Shots: *are heard*
Everyone: AAAAAAGH!!!!! *ducks*
???: *in slow motion* *is trying to duck, but is too slow* NOOOOOOOOO, THEEEEE BUUUUUUULLEEEEEEEEET...
XX: *in normal time* OMG! YOU'VE BEEN SHOT--
???: *is bleeding* I guess...*coughcoughcough* it's time for me to say my goodbyes...I love...love...
Everyone else: *random crying* *stares in anticipation (after all, they don't know who's been shot!)*
Darko: *begins eating party food now that everyone is staring at dying person*
Dying person: I LOFF YOU GILDEROY!
Everyone else: ARNOLD?!?!?
Harry: *is enraged* STOP USING MY CAPSLOCK!
Gilderoy: *turns from mirror* I don't blame you.
Everyone else:
Draco: *is weeping for a reason we have yet to discover*
Darko: *lifts face stuffed with chips and things* *swallows* I thought all the hot male characters were going to strip and fix the roof?
Hot male characters: Okay...*strip*
Female F&Iers *applaud*
Policemen: *run in and find half-naked hot male characters*
Spidey: I protest this!
Policeman #1: It is not your right to be protesting this, foolish law breaker.
Spidey: Yes it is! This is sexist! Why is it policeMEN? Why not policewoman? Why is modern society such that it is always assumed that it is men, not woman? Speaking of which, woman has the root "man." It's so sexist!
Policewoman #1: Happy now?
Spidey: Yes.
Policeman #1: I would like to know what all you children are doing out of school. I'm going to have to get all of your names. You older people must be accomplices! Hah! I'm gonna land your butts in prison if it's the last thing I do! *insane laugh*
Depth: Yes, but what's your name?
Policeman #1: I'm Gilbert.
Policewoman #1: I'm Mary Jane.
lilli: Pleased to meet you! Glad you could come! Hope you had a great time! See you soon? Bye!
Policepeople: *leave*
Policepeople: *enter*
Gilbert: We've been tricked.
Mary Jane: And for that you shall suffer!
Stanley: *is pretending he is not here*
Mary Jane: I need all your names and addresses, first, before I make you wish you were never born. For legal purposes, and all.
Darko: You know, this is really unfair. Things were just getting hot and sexy. We had convinced the hot sexy males to take their shirts off!
Fey: They never even got to sing the dwarf song!
Depth: Or fix the roof!
Shalei: And I only just got here! I've broken no laws!
Spidey: It's not fair and I protest!
Mary Jane: You're all accomplices! And criminals! And deserve to be boiled in rat poop! Now I need your- OMG, Stanley? What are you doing here?
Stanley: Hi, Mama.
Plum: *Rolls around in amusement. Mama? You still use that Stan? *Sticks tongue out.
Policeman #1: You're coming with me young girl. *Grabs her arm.
Plum: *Starts crying. NIKITA!!! HE'S TOUCHING ME!!! EW! GET HIM AWAY!!!
Harry: THAT'S MY CAPS LOCK! STOP USING THEM!!!
Hayden: Uh...can I put my shirt back on? It's getting a bit chilly.
Nikita: *Head-butts Policeman #1.
Draco: Please get them off my property.
Ginny: Draco! *Slaps him on head. We were just beginning to have fun, besides they showered us with gifts.
Draco: Then let them go! *Drawing wand and glaring at the muggle police officers.
Darko: Before you take us away, can we please see the sexy males sing the little dwarves song? Pretty please?
Mary Jane: Oh... alright.
All the F&I'rs: Yeah!!!
(In background: "Let go of me!!" Plum kicks officer in the shin)
Hot male characters: *Starts singing the dwarves song.
Plum: Hey guys...
Lilli: Yes, Plum?
Plum: What is WE?
*Music stops.
Everyone: WHAT?!?
Plum: *shrinks back. I mean...I never heard of it before...
XX: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?
Harry: HEY! THAT'S MY CAPS LOCK!
Draco: *Hits him over the head.
Plum: I'm s-sorry! I seriously, don't know what that stands for.
Spidey: *Giggles.
XX: *Scowls.
Plums: I honestly DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!
Harry: *whimpering* My caps-lo-lock
Shalei: You mean you don't know it? *gapes*
ThirdPerson!Plum: Plum doesn't know what WE means, Plum does not know what WE means..
Fey: Oh the horror!
Nikita: Oh the Pain!
Spidey: Oh the sheer Angst!
Bunny: Oh our stupidity!
Nikita, Spidey and Fey: *whips head and glares*
Bunny: err--- err--- *wipes head*
Ginny: Honestly, kids.
Depth: What Kids? *innocently* Oh.. uuusss...
Ginny: Young and innocent kids
Shalei: That was what Lilli told me earlier!
Hayden: Can I now put my shirt back on?
Depth: No Hun, XX would beg to disagree.. *winks*
Draco: What does WE really means?
Ginny: Honestly! Stop that now, Malfoy, or you'll slepp on the couch.
Draco: Oh, WE means War's End *suddenly feeling genius*
Plum: Now I know...
Thirdperson!Plum: Now Plum knows what it means..
Plum: War end? Is that something that happened to you guys before? *points at the hp characters.
Draco: *Scowls imbecile, at least I know what it means.
Ginny: Draco...
Draco: *whimpers.
Hayden: Can I please put my shirt back on?
XX: NO! NEVER!!! *Glomps.
Harry: MY CAPS LOCK! STOP USING THEM!!!
Plum: *Gets tranquelizer. *Sticks it into Harry's arm.
Harry: *Out like a light bulb 
Tristy: Hey! That's my Dad!!!
Plum: I'm sorry, but he wouldn't shut up!
Hayden: Can I please put my shirt back on?
F&I'rs: NO!
Plum: *shows Hayden tranquelizer menacingly.
Hayden: *Gulps.
Ginny: Don't you threaten my baby!
Caius: What about me mum?
Ginny: *ignores him.
Plum: Well, he's being annoying.
Shalei: Yeah, he's actually starting to get on my nerves.
Draco: What? Can't handle the sexy body of Malfoy men?
Ginny: *headdesk.
Plum: Ew, your old.
F&I'rs: *Sigh dreamily.
Draco: *Glares.
Plum: What? It's true! You're more conceited than Gilderoy.
Ginny & F&I'rs: Hey! *Glares.
Plum: I'm sorry!!!
Nikita: Stop saying sorry.
Spidey: I'm hungry! We forgot all about Thanksgiving dinner!
lilli: Oh my gosh, you're right! And Thanksgiving's already passed!
Spidey: Actually it hasn't passed here yet. Remember, this is the fandom.
lilli: Oh, yeah. Yay!
Depth: But here in the fandom, Thanksgiving isn't for another *looks at watch* nine hours! We've only got nine hours to find out whom the Almighty Shipper is!
XX: What about the competition with Stanley?
Depth: It'll have to WAIT!
Stanley: What, you guys need more time to prepare, because you know you're gonna LOSE?
XX: *eye twitch* *punches Stanley in the head and knocks him unconscious*
Tess: Okay, so are we going to go back to following the treasure map now?
Fey: Sounds good to me.
Nikita: Let's go!
Darko: *blinkblinkblink* Almighty Shipper?
This earns the effect of Plum's WE question.
F&Iers: *glares*
Spidey: That's what you get for not being an avid Round Robin poster!
Nikita: Be nice, Spidey.
Spidey: I protest that!
Plum: I say we tell her!
Draco: Why? She is not worthy of knowing the Almighty Shipper!
Ginny: Do you know who the Almighty Shipper is?
Draco: Well, since it's got "Almighty" in the title, it must be me!
F&Iers: *collective groan*
Depth: Only not...
Hayden: I'm cold...
XX: I say NO!
Hayden: *cowers*
The attention of this unlikely group has suddenly turned from Darko's ignorance to Hayden's hot bod! Consequently, Darko has earned the reputation of the perv in the group.
Darko: I protest that!
Spidey: I protest your use of my 'I protest that!'
Nikita: You are such a good protester Spidey *huggles Spidey*
Ron: Are we having a group hug?? *jumps on top of Spidey and Nikita*
Canon!Ron fans: *glare*
Ron: *is sarcastic and unsensitive*
Canon!Ron fans: Much better.
Depth: So how are we going to go about our Quest?
lilli: Quest.. just like Lord of the Rings *squee*
Depth and lilli: *jump around screaming and dancing*
Spidey: I PROTEST THAT! This is a Harry Potter thread!
Harry: My CAPSLOCK!
Draco: *knocks Harry out*
Nikita: Being the Official Map-Holder I think we should follow the map again!
XX: Just hold it the right way this time *grumble grumble*
Draco: *scoff* I would never do that.
Nikita: Why don't you try then?
Spidey: Eeek! We could make a map for him to follow! *squee*
lilli: *squee* it could be in a closet and then we could all tackle him and...
Depth: Yes!!! *squee*
Darko: I've always wondered how big he was...
Mods: *glare*
Ginny: *glare*
Bunny: You are such a pervert Darko I now give you the title of Official Pervert
Darko: I have a title! I have a title! *dances*
Fey: Okay guys, as fun as it would be to rape Draco....
Mods: *glare*
Fey: ....we have a mission we have to do!
Depth: Fine *pout*
Nikita: Let's follow the map! Okay! Let's go!
Tess: I don't know if I trust you......
Nikita: Hey! This is my title I can live up to it! *sobs* They don't trust me.....
Depth: No.... We do! Let's all follow Nikita!
Plum: Can we please not rape Draco? Instead follow the calm Buddah way of doing things...
Draco: Stupid muggle filth.
Plum: *Glares
Ginny: *Glares
Plum: You know what? Let's forget the Buddah way, I say we should kill him!
Ron: Yay! 
Darko: Nah, I say we rape him in the closet.
Nikita: Can we go now?
Everyone: Yes!
*Starts following Nikita.
Plum: Oh guess what you guys? I finally found out what WE means! ^_^ I read it a couple months back, I was on chapter 6 now I'm on chapter 12 lol. This whole time, I knew what it was but I forgot -_-*
XX: *Glomps
Ginny: where are we going?
Nikita: *busy reading map.
Nikita: Ahem. According to this map-
Hayden: *singing* Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work we go!
lilli: Uh, that was from a few posts ago.
Hayden: I know. But since certain shippers *glares* won't allow me to put my shirt on, I figure I might as well start singing.
Spidey: W00t! Dwarf Song!
Nikita: According to this map-
Draco: *singing* A whole new world!
Depth: *singing* It's the circle of life!
Nikita: UGH! Why is everyone singing Disney songs?
Spidey: I protest that statement! I'm not singing Disney songs and neither are you or Plum or Ginny or XX or Tess or Shalei or Stanley or the policepeople or most of the PHBs!
PHBs (sans Hayden):*singing* Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Hayden: Hi ho!
Spidey: Alright, so the PHBs are singing. But a lot of us aren't!
Plum, XX, Tess, and Shalei: *singing* Under the sea, Darling it's better, Down where it's wetter...
Ginny and Draco: *singing* A whole new world!
Nikita: But we have to find the Almighty Shipper! Why is everyone singing?
Spidey: I'm not! And neither are Stanley or the policepeople!
Stanley: Ewww, Disney is for girls!
Spidey: *pounds Stanley to a pulp*
Nikita: But the Almighty Shipper! *sobs* Only we are safe, Spidey. Us, and the weird policepeople and Stanley. What shall we do!?!?!
Darko: I've done my research and now I know who the Almighty Shipper is. Can I be included in the group, too, Nikita?
Spidey: I protest that!
Darko: Why are you always protesting things?
Spidey: *shrugs* It is my cliche.
Nikita: The Almighty Shipper awaits!
Darko: Isn't it past Thanksgiving, though? Shouldn't we already know who it is?
Spidey: YOU KNOW NOT OF WHAT YOU SPEAK! BEGONE!
Draco: Please everyone begone!
Darko: *sulk*
Shalei: I sure am glad someone knocked Harry out, Spidey. He'd have you for stealing his capslock.
Darko: Don't you think the Ootp!Harry Capslock joke is overused?
Fans of Capslock!Harry jokes: *Daggers, from eyes, to heart*
Darko: *sulk*
Nikita *tickticktick* Almight Shipper...ugh...Offical Map Keeper...me...*swoons*
Mods: Shut up singing everyone! We can't have one of our posters pass out...we'll lose our positions.
Draco: A WHOLE NEEEEW WORLD! A NEW FANTASTIC POINT OF VIEW. Ah... Aladdin's my favorite Disney movie, methinks.
Mods: *glare*
Nikita: Now that I have everyone's attention...to the map! And stop sulking, Darko.
Bunny: OMG! I LOVE DISNEY MOVIES!
Spidey: We're trying to get past that....
XX: WHAT'S A FIRE AND WHY DOES, WHAT'S THE WORD, BURN!!!!!!!!
Nikita: The mods told us to stop!!! And I have something important to say!
lilli: Flippin your fins you don't get to farrrrr! Legs are required, for jumping DANCING!
Tess: Walking around on those, what's the word again? FEET!
Spidey and Nik: STOP!!!!!!!!!
Shalei: PART OF YOUR WORLD!!!!
Draco: :: pout:: We should be singing Aladin!
Bunny: Omg! We totally need the Genie!
All Disney Fan Shippers: Ya!
Nikita and Spidey: ::facepalm::
Disney Fan Shippers: ::keep singing random bits of different disney movie songs::
Nikita: We have something IMPORTANT TO DO! ::is not heard::
Spidey: This is getting really annoying! And I've already taken out my anger on Stanley! Who am I going to beat up now!?
Caius: ::hides::
Darko: Muahahaha, this is what you deserve for protesting me!
Spidey: Why I oughtta.... ::tackles Darko::
::Spidey and Darko fight, Nikita runs around hopelessly trying to restore order, Draco cries because they aren't singing Aladin, Disney Fans continue to sing, Everyone Else watches in mild amusement::
Mods: QUIETTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: ::freezes::
Mods: IF YOU LOT DON'T SHUT UP NOW I SHALL.... GIVE YOU POINTS!!!!!!!
Harry: ::timidly:: My capslock?
Everyone who is not tired of the Harry Capslock Joke: ::cheers::
Mods: ::deadly look of DOOOOOM at Harry::
Harry: Heh heh... just kidding... it's yours ofcourse...
Mods: ::clears throat:: I assume you all understand?
Shippers: ::all nod enthusiastically for fear of getting points::
Mods: Good. Resume!
::Silence::
Nikita: Anyways... Map
XX: Screw the map, let's use our lifelines!
Everyone: HUH?
Mary Jane: Sorry to break it to you, hun, but this isn't Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Nikita: Of course it isn't . . . So about this m -
XX: YES IT IS!
Everyone: *facepalm*
Hermione: No, you see, she's right.
Everyone: *stares*
Hermione: It says right here, in this official owl from the Minister of Magic, Mme. Bones: Henceforth, the search for the Almighty Shipper shall be known as Who Wants to Find the Almighty Shipper? and conducted under the rules and regulations of the Muggle game of a similar name.
Everyone: Oooh . . .
Hermione: I've done my part. Who'll explain the rules?
Everyone: *looks at Depth*
Depth: Darn.
Depth: So here are the rules: A shipper here is picked randomly and then placed on the chair, answering questions about the Almighty Shipper by this Mary Jane person over here. Because we have no idea who this Almighty Shipper is, we'll just have to guess randomly at the answers. Each question and its answer will lead us closer to the identity of the Almighty Shipper. Capishe?
Shippers: *Wide eyes because of Depth's wiseness* Wow got it!
Hermione: Okay then, says here that the shippers are suppose to gather round and pair up to play Rock, Paper, Scissors. Whoever loses will stand off in the sidelines. This continues until there is one shipper left standing.
Shippers: *Starts running around in circles, playing Rock Paper, Scissors randomly until Shalei is declared the winner*
Shalei: OMG I WON!!!! *Sobs* I would like to thank my Mom, my Dad, my pet dog name Fluffy, my first grade teacher, Miss Sweet, my Godzilla toy, my --
Mary Jane: *Glares* Okay are you guys up to this yet?
Tess: Looks like your up, Shalei! Make us proud!
Shalei: *Is shaking from nervousness**There is an offending and suspicious yellow stain on the back of her trousers*
Pinksunryse: *Whispers to the rest of the people* Whoa poor Shalei, looks like she's really nervous, eh? Wouldn't fancy being in her position; the weight of the identity of the Almighty Shipper on her shoulders*
Mary Jane: *Clears throat* Welcome to today's eiditon of Who Wants to Find the Almighty Shipper/! *Pauses for the standard polite clapping from the audience. There is none* Today with us, is Shalei standing for the F & I shippers who have been looking for the Almighty Shipper for pages now! How do you feel Shalei?
Shalei *Wibbles* *Breaks into tears*
Mary Jane: I'm glad to hear that you're doing so well! *Claps Shalei on the back* First question is: Where is the Almighty Shipper from? Is it:
a) Austria
b) Australia
c) America
d) Africa
Shalei: I'd like to poll the audience Mary Jane!
Mary Jane: Alright there, audience, Shalei needs YOUR help! Use the poll thingie device conviently under your seats and press in your answer now! *Crickets are heard because there IS no audience.* Oh right, looks like it's up to you shippers, canon characters, and offsprings to decide. What do you guys think?
Everyone: *various answers are shouted out*
Mary Jane: Decide among yourselves!!
Everyone: *Gathers in a circle. After an hour they finally reach an answer*
Plum Blossoms: *Steps forward* We think it's B, Regis!
Mary Jane: *Turns red* For God's Sakes, I am NOT REGIS!!!
Plum: Oops, sorry about that Regis!!
Spider: Can we just get on with it!? I'm hungry and want to go back to the manor!
Shalei: I trust you guys with all my heart *Turns to Mary Jane* I choose B, Australia!
Background: *Scary loser music play*
Mary Jane: Why I'm sorry Shalei. You were WRONG. Dead WRONG. It was A, Austria.
Shalei: *Turns towards everyone* WHY YOU **** *** ****, Mother ****** *******.
Mods: *Runs towards Shalei, tackling and handcuffing her*
Shalei: WAIT, I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN IT! *Sobs* Give me one more chance to prove myself!! Nikita, help me!!
Nikita: *Because she's the resident hitman, she's bound to have cool weapons* *Throws a bottle in the middle on the struggle. Mods are out cold*
Bunny: Whoa, what was that!?
Nikita: It's called "Mod Wipe Away!" Useful, eh?
XX: OMFG, I KNOW WHO THE ALMIGHTY SHIPPER IS!! There is only ONE person we know who's from Austria!!
lilli: Who!?
XX: It's....SUB!!
Everyone: *Gasp*
Depth: Has she ever posted here before with us?
Nikita: Yes once upon a time, but COLLEGE *Curses its existance* took her time away from us *sobs*
Tess: There there Nikita *Hands tissues*
Aenuloth: Why is Sub the Almighty Shipper?
Nikita: DUH, because Sub has been around for the longest, WAY longer than any of us here!
Spider: So the mystery is solved!? We can go home now!?!?!
Nikita: *Breaks into a smile* Yes, I believe we can!
Ginny: Oh, you're leaving so soon? What about the=
Draco: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::throws himself at Ginny's feet, clings to her legs:: DON'T SAY IT!!!!! THEY WERE JUST ABOUT TO LEAVEEEEEE!
Tess: What about the what? Oh yeah! The ball!
Pink: Uh... ball?
Plum: I second that.... question!
lilli: Pink and Plum. Permanently puzzled! ::giggles::
XX: ::wacks lilli on the head::
Nikita: ::rolls eyes:: I didn't mean go home to our actual homes. I meant back to Draco and Ginny's.
Draco: ::sob::
Spidey: But aren't we at Draco and Ginny's?
Nikita: Errr... ::looks around:: This ones destroyed. We'll just have them take us to one of their other estates!
Shippers: OOOh! Ball!!!!
Pink: WHAT IS THIS BALL THAT YOU SPEAK OF?!
Harry: My caps- ::tackled by People Who Are Tired of the Harry and his Capslock Joke::
Shalei: Ginny and Draco-
Draco: LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS!
Shalei: ::ignores him:: As I was saying, Ginny and Draco invited us a Masquerade ball. It's not til New Years... or was it New Years Eve?
XX: Wouldn't it be nice of some people hear had actually read Masquerade? ::glares at Depth::
Bunny: ::jumps up and down:: Oh I did! Me! Pick me!
XX: ::ignores::
Depth: Heh heh.... ::nervous::
Bunny: Hold it a sec....
Everyone: ::looks at Bunny::
Bunny: What type of masquerade ball is this? Is it a fancy dresses with masks Masquerade or actual costumes?
Spidey: OMG, fancy costumes definitely!
Depth: I want to be Bilbo!
Spidey: OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!
Draco: Would someone PLEASE shut her up?
Harry: My c-
Spidey: We're warning you, Harry.
Harry: Hehehe, I was going to say my cat! Yeah, my cat.
Ginny: You don't have a cat, Harry.
Spidey: Anyways, brain flash! I have had another vision.
Draco: Something tells me that when she says vision, she doesn't really mean vision.
Spidey: OMG, so in the masquerade we dress up in costumes with masks and stuff but don't tell anyone what we're dressing up as! So no one knows who we are! They have to guess and stuff!
lilli: OMGOMGOMGOMG! Great idea! Can I be a tree? Please?
Spidey: Did you hear anything I just said?
lilli: Uh, no.
Spidey: We surprise each other with what we're dressing up as!
Ginny: That's a wonderful idea, Spidey.
lilli: I don't want to be a tree anymore. Can I please, pretty pretty please, be a pair of scissors?
Spidey: You aren't supposed to tell us!
Draco: Stupid shippers.
Ginny: Be nice, Draco, or you'll be sleeping on the couch.
Draco: Meep.
lilli: I want to be a couch! And then Draco could sleep on me!
Draco: Please, Ginny, save me!
lilli: OOH, OOH, OOH! I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE!
XX: A rubber duckie? That's stupid!
lilli: *sniffle* I thought it was a great idea...
Tess: Whoa, XX, how'd you...
XX: *points to her head* I'm psychic, remember?
Tess: Oh, yeah!
Spidey: No, wait, no! That'll ruin my Masquerade plan! Gosh darn you, XX, why do you have to be psychic?! Now what'll we do?
lilli: I know what I'm going to do! *runs off to design her costume*
XX: *shrug* The Masquerade is still, what, five or so weeks away? So we've got no reason to worry!
Stanley: WAIT A MINUTE!
Spidey: DON'T TELL US WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DRESS UP AS, IDIOT!
Stanley: What?! Pfft, why would I hide this gorgeous face behind a mask?
Spidey: G-gorgeous face?! *doubles over in laughter*
Stanley: ...
Spidey: GORGEOUS FAAAAACE, HAHAHAHA...
Stanley: Anyway... WHAT ABOUT MY COMPETITION WITH XX WHERE I'M SUPPOSED TO PROVE THAT I'M A BIGGER HARRY POTTER FAN THAN HER?!
Harry: My ca-- *wibbles as everyone glares at him* *quietly to himself* My caps lock... *cries*
Fey: Why do we even need this competition anymore? We all know XX is the bigger fan!
XX: *preens*
Stanley: *nostrils flare* MAYBE IN YOUR STUPID WORLD WHERE THAT DANG DEATHEATER *points to Draco* CAN MARRY THAT GIRL *points to Ginny* WHO'S OBVIOUSLY IN LOVE WITH MR. HARRY POTTER... BUT IN THE REAL WORLD, I'M THE BIGGEST FAN!!!!!!
Ginny: HEY!
Draco: I think we've been insulted!
F&Iers: IN THE REAL WORLD?! THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, YOU LITTLE... *advance on Stanley*
Ginny: *sob* How could he consider our love unreal?...
Draco: Aww, don't listen to him, Gin! I love you with all of my heart, and you love me with all of your heart, and that's real enough for us.
Fluffy!Draco Fans: Awwww!!!!
Angsty-and-hard-hearted!Draco Fans: Hmph.
Ginny: *swoons*
Draco and Ginny: *snog majorly*
F&Iers: *turn away from the cute D/Gness to advance on Stanley once more* Calling our world fake... Why we oughta... *jump on Stanley*
Stanley: AGHHHH, HELP MEEEEE!!!!!
F&Iers: TAKE THIS!!!!! *hold up a D/G fanart drawing* AND THAT!!!!!!! *hold up another D/G fanart drawing*
Stanley: AAAAAAAAGH, THE HORRORRRRRR!!!!!!
Harry: *sniffle* MY CA-- *wibbles as everyone glares at him once more* My ca-carols... Yeah, that's it! My Christmas carols! *feebly* Dashing through the snooow, in a one horse open sleeeigh...
lilli: *skips in happily wearing a shower cap and holding a rubber duckie under her left arm* I'm ready for the Masquerade! *hears Harry* Ooh, I love that song! Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg! Batmobile lost its wheel and Joker got away, HEY!... *is ignored by everyone*
F&Iers: *begin to read out loud from various fluffy D/G fics, much like they did to get rid of the non-D/G-shippers before*
Stanley: STOP THE MADNESS! STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!
Mysterious Person: ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone: *stops, eyes widened*
Mysterious Person: *steps out of the shadows in a sinister way* Yes... It is I...
F&Iers: SUB!!!!!!!!!!!! *sigh in relief and huggle Sub*
Sub a.k.a. The Almighty Shipper: Yes, it is I, Sub, and I am here, and you are here, and we are here.
Depth: Whooooa, she's so wiiiiise!!!
Sub: *smiles serenely* My children... You must not force D/G onto those who do not ship it!
Stanley: *is crying in the corner, reciting passages from Harry Potter that hint at any ship that goes against the Draco/Ginny ship*
F&Iers: *sniff* We were just trying to convert him...
Sub: Yes, young shippers, I understand, for your intent was good... But your means of conversion were simply un-F&I-ly of you all.
F&Iers (Except for lilli): *hang their head in shame*
lilli: *continues to skip and sing crude versions of Christmas carols*
Sub: If you want to convert young Stanley here to the Fire and Ice world, then you must do it calmly, and you must be nice about it.
XX: But Sub, I don't even remember why we were trying to convert him in the first place! I do remember, though, that he and I were in the middle of a long and drawn-out competition to see who is the bigger Harry Potter fan, and I was totally whipping his tail!
Sub: But were you really, XX?
XX: Um... Y-yeah...?
Sub: Or did you have an unfair advantage in that many of the questions were fandom-related and that the judges were partial to your team?
XX: *looks guilty* B-but... I was on his team for part of it...
Sub: To sabotage his team, though, XX...
XX: *sigh* You're right, Sub. I'm sorry.
Sub: *smiles* I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, XX.
XX: What?! You want me to apologize to that?! *points to Stanley, who is currently still crying and is now reciting the end scene of OotP where Ron seemingly "wants Harry and Ginny to get together"*
Sub: *sternly* XX...
XX: *sigh* Fine. *walks over to Stanley and puts her hand on his back* Stanley, I *mumblemumblegrumblegrumble* There. Happy, Sub?
Sub: I couldn't understand a word you said, XX. Besides... That's a coat rack.
XX: *grumblegrumble Dang it, she didn't fall for it grumblegrumble* *walks over to the real Stanley* Stanley, I'm sorry the competition between us was unfair, and I'm sorry we all tried to force the D/G ship onto you.
Stanley: *jumps up, tears somehow dried and mind somehow sane once more* HA! YOU ADMIT IT! WE SHALL NOW START OVER THE COMPETITION, THEN, WITH FAIR RULES, FAIR QUESTIONS, AND IT'LL BE COMPLETELY ONE-ON-ONE!
Sub: And I shall be judge, of course, because I am the only truly impartial person here.
Stanley: *glare* BRING IT, XX!
XX: *glare* It's oooon, Stanley Burgenheimer!
Stanley: ...That's not my last name...
XX: *glares even harder* IT IS NOW!!!!!!!!
Stanley: Um...
Draco and Ginny: *finally end their major snoggage* Did we miss anything?
lilli: *stops singing* Hey, how come Arnold Schwarzenegger couldn't have been the Almighty Shipper? I mean, he's from Austria too and--*is gagged by Nikita*
Sub: Let the competition...begin!
Nikita: Are you sure it's such a good idea to have another competition? I mean, remember all the drama that went down last time...
lilli: And the pickles!
Everyone: ....
Tess: lilli, there were no pickles...
lilli: ::sob::
Nikita: Isn't there another way to solve this?
Depth: Yes, these competions aren't exactly peaceful...
XX: Must... kill... Stanley....
Shalei: We could always give them both a pretty badge... and that way it would be fair!
XX: Ooh!!! Pretty badge!
Stanley: Excuse me! There is no exception. The competition must transpire... FAIR AND SQUARE!
Sub: I'm afraid he is right, my children. You started this competition, and it is your duty to end it.
Depth: ::nods vigorously:: Yeah! After all, "she who begins the tapestry must find the last thread to end it".
Sub: ::smiles at Depth:: That is very wise.
Bunny: I think we need a song!
Everyone: NO!!!
Bunny: Yes we do!
Everyone: NOOO!!!!!
Bunny: ::ignores them:: ::a beat starts up:: This is dedicated to XX!!!!! RISIN UP! BACK ON THE STREEET... DID MY TIME TOOK MY CHANCES.... WENT THE DISTANCE NOW IM BACK ON MY FEEEEEEEEEET!
XX: ::covers ears:: Errr.... lovely....
Bunny: IT'S THE EYE OF THE TIGERRRRRR! IT'S THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT!!!! RISING UP TO THE CHALLENGE OF OUR RIVAL! AND THE LAST KNOWN SURVIVOR STALKS HIS PREY AT NIGHT.... AND SHE'S WATCHING US ALLLLLLLLLLL.... with the eye of the tiger....
Sub: Yes, I'm sure XX found that very encouraging but I believe we should begin the-
Bunny: No no! Wait! I have a song for Stanley as well!
Stanley: Really?
Bunny: Yup!
Everyone: ::groans::
Bunny: ::clears throat:: WEEEEEEEE WILLLLL WEEEEE WILLLLL ROCKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WEEEE WILLLL WEEEEE WILLL ROCK YOUUUUUU-
Sub: ::cuts Bunny off:: Okay! Now let's begin... for real this time.
Spidey: The first question should be an easy one. What year did the first book debut in the UK?
Spidey: Wait- I take back my question! I PROTEST! How can Sub be impartial if she is the Almighty Shipper?
Sub: I am impartial in that I am a fair judge. I use scary underhand methods to convert people; I do not cheat.
Stanley: AHEM. I would like to answer the question. I know the answer!
Sub: Yes, young one, and what is your answer?
Stanley: 1997!
Sub: And he's correct!
F&Iers: Boooooooo! Boooooo!
Sub: Question number 2: When did Harry P-
House: *explodes*
Everyone (sans lilli): *screams*
Draco: My house! My lovely, dead house!
lilli: MAD RACCOON INCIDENT!
Everyone else:
Depth: Actually, she's correct.
Stanley: And how would you know that?
Depth: Because I am the Wise Old Sage and know everything.
Stanley: *snort* Then, all if you're all knowing, what's the square root of 76 divided by 99 added to the velocity of a pigeon?
Depth: Seven.
Stanley: *gasp* She's correct! Will you marry me, Depth?
Depth: I'm sorry, Stanley. It's not you, it's me.
Stanley: *goes into a dark corner and crieS*
Wormtail: Aha! I have come to kill you all!
Fey: That's nice, but we're rather busy right now.
Spidey: And rather hungry.
XX: And semi-partially-bored.
Depth: Though only slightly.
Draco: And I'm sexy.
Depth: *gasp* You are, Draco! With your deep grey eyes, like an ocean, and your hair falling ever so perfectly over your right eye-
Draco: Uh, WTF?
Harry: She's telling the truth, Draco.
Draco: Uh, WTF?
Harry: I can't keep this a secret any longer! I love you, Draco. I always have, I always will!
Draco: Wait- you're gay?
Harry: (defensively) So?
Draco: Nothing, it's just that I always thought that you would be the type to go off and get married to some goody-goody girl, like Granger.
Harry: But my love for you is strong!
H/Ders: *cheer*
Wormtail: What about meeeeee?
Spidey: Hush, we're in the middle of a romantic moment.
Harry: You can't deny it, Draco. I know you love me, too!
Ginny: That's it. Romantic moments are one thing- but NOT involving MY husband.
Harry: Yes, well you're a capslock thief!
Ginny: *kills Harry*
XX: Ginny, what have you done?
Policepeople: And right in front of us, too!
Wormtail: Hey, I wanted to do that!
Ginny: I could hold in my feelings no longer! My love for Draco is such that I could not stand rivalry.
XX: *sobs* So you killed him?
Harry: Don't be silly, I'm still alive.
Wormtail: Score!
Ginny: Darn.
Draco: Life is such a beautiful thing!
Harry:
Draco: I don't want to be evil anymore! I want to pet bunnies and kiss babies and be a good boy!
Ginny: Uh...?
Draco: All I need is you, Ginny!
Wormtail: But I have to kill you all!
Draco: Admit it. You don't want to kill me.
Wormtail: I GIVE UP! OLLY OLLY OXEN FREE! HAVE YOUR WAY WITH ME, DRACO! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THE MALL IS HAUNTING ME! *transforms into a giant teddy bear*
Everyone: Yay!
Depth: My life is complete!
Spidey: We've discovered the meaning of life!
Tess: This calls for a romantic moment!
Ginny: I could never be complete without you, Draco!
D/G: *snog*
